PLS HELP ME!!!

I am really starting to doubt God now... I know i hardly updated my blog so no one(including all my closest friends) will know why i doubt him... You know how God is supposedly the Nicest guy ever and that He is onmiscient and knows everything including the future, but if he knew what would happen if He created Lucifer and Hell why did he do it? Is it because He isnt that holy and selfless after all? or is it that the jews like to twist the real facts alot or maybe most of the prophets that came in the bible werent real... is it that the guy who transelated the original bible in the hebrew language to english is terrible at translating or is it that he purposely changed it for personal gain. Maybe the jewish teachers and the churches who made the bible were in a coop.......... either way, if the god that is described in the bible is real i dont think ill be worshiping him any more. dont you think that it was really selfish of god if he did intentionally create lucifer and hell to send over 70% of his so called most cherished creations(humans) to hell, after all over 70% of the earths population are non-christians. Oh God.... If that which is said in the bible is just some sick way for the people of ancient times to creat fear in us pls tell me, i do not wish to believe in lies anymore. PLS ANYONE. SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME!!! I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME THAT ALL THIS WHILE I WAS NOT WORSHIPING ANOTHER FALSE IDOL! PLS CONVIENCE ME THAT THE GOD I HAVE BETRAYED MY FAMILY CULTURE TO WORSHIP FOR SO LONG IS NOT JUST A MYTH OR AS BAD AS THEY DISCRIBE IN THE BIBLE.... I HAVE PRAYED FOR HIM TO TELL ME ITS ALL NOT TRUE AND THAT ITS ALL A M ISUNDERSTANDING BUT HE WONT REPLY ME.... PLS TELL ME ITS NOT REAL... I have been living in a nightmare just because i thought he loved me... but is he real? is he the bastard the bible describes him as or is he the GOD i have been seeking... the real GOD... Years ago, i thought i felt "GOD" come over me.. but now i am not so sure anymore.

H1N1

Yesterday i was tested positif for H1N1 and trust me it did not feel good, i was in bed the whole day with a fever and head ache but i am much better now. The worst part about it was that my friends and family were exposed which made me quite sad. I pray that even though they were exposed they wouldnt get it.

Encouragment

Proverbs 3:

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
⁶ Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

⁷ Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
⁸ Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones.

Painful truths

Sometimes in life we see things we shouldnt or dont want to see, know things we shouldnt and open doors which dark truths unfold.... but when these things do happen we have no choice but to endure it knowing that it is Gods will and that He would never give us anything He knows we cant take. So have faith in Him..

Personal truth

A few days ago i went on a camp as i said earlier and something happened....

That something made me hurt on the in side so bad that i almost cried when i woke up this morning. I a getting nightmares of it some nights and other nights i cant even remember my dreams..... Camp was awesome dont get me wrong but i learned something that i was denying on an on but now the curtains are open and i have to face the music.... I am happy and yet dying of sadness at the same time.. i dont know what to do... of all times now is the time i look to God to heal this wound and guide me away from this path. This wound has cut so deep that it feels so impossible to heal but praise the Lord for all things are possible for Christ.

My first Buddhist camp.

I may be a Christian but my parents are Buddhists so i was forced to go for a Buddhist youth camp which well i really ended up enjoying. sure its not the same with the Puja instead of devotions, reflections instead of grace and fun but rough activities instead of the peacefull but fun games. But as different as it is it is still a camp as all my others, a camp i will never forget. The camp reminded me of something i had learned but forgoten and thats that we are one, sure this may be of a different religion but we are all the same race, not the chinese race or indians or muslim or thaoists but the human race and that we are all 1 regardless of our taste in anything but 1 non-the-less.

Encouragements

When I think that all hope is lost and i realise it I would normally slap myself for that would be unfaithfulness. When you think all hope is lost, Don't cause its not, God didnt make us to walk down one path only, there is always a way out and all you need is a little prayer.
Proverbs 3:6 seek His will in all you do and He will show you which path to take.